This morning I wrote a gratitude list. All the usual suspects are there: family, friendships, etc. Just another unfulfilling and boring exercise in self improvement. So I drafted a second list, abandoning all pre-calculated concepts of achieving personal growth. I’d recommend this drill for anybody feeling choked by the toxic positivity of mundane exercises geared towards self enlightenment.

Gratitude List Take Two: 

• I’m grateful for the cheating bastards who gifted me the experience of heartbreak. 

• I’m grateful for the lessons learned while I hurt my loved ones in the pursuit of self fulfillment. 

• I’m also grateful to know their forgiveness. ^^

• I’m grateful for the 3 years spent institutionalized as a teenager, struggling with debilitating mental issues. 

• I’m grateful for knowing the strength of self sabotage. 

• I’m grateful I’ve never been fired from a job, instead bailing when the chip on my shoulder grew too heavy to carry. 

• I’m grateful for a healthcare system that failed me, forcing me to empower myself in new, creative ways.

• I’m grateful for the emotional tug o war between my foolish and stoic selves. 

• I’m grateful to find humanity in my errors. 

• I’m grateful for my shitty neighbors who are forced to accept my parcels when I’m not home. Even though they’re mean about it.

• I’m grateful for the menacing possums in my dumpster — they eat ticks, and could eradicate lyme disease.

Life seems good after re-doing my list.